How squash helped Atif find his family and accept himself
When Atif Rizvi first stepped off the plane in Scotland, he knew that he had been keeping a part of himself hidden for most of his life.
Growing up in Pakistan, he encountered largely negative attitudes towards LGBTQ+ individuals, with laws and social attitudes making it difficult for him to express his identity openly.
Now 36, Atif feels he has been “born again” thanks to his involvement with the Edinburgh Curveballs – an LGBTQ+ squash group in Edinburgh.
“I’ve never felt as similar to others as I do with the Curveballs,” he said.
“This is one of the few communities that I have ever been part of which has given me the opportunity to accept myself – not just who I am, but also how I present myself to others.”
After moving to Scotland, Atif was finally able to embrace his identity as a bisexual man. It was here that he met his boyfriend, who introduced him to Curveballs.
A keen sportsman, Atif loved swimming and cricket growing up. Although he was completely new to squash, he quickly developed a passion for the sport.
Having tried both squash and tennis, it was squash that grabbed his attention with the requirement for constant focus and determination.
But for Atif, Curveballs is about much more than sport.
He enjoys the sessions so much that he travels from his home in Hawick on a Wednesday and Sunday, just to be part of the group.
He said: “If it was only the sport and nothing else, I might not go, but it is so much more than that.
“We sit and chat and get to know each other – the way they’ve welcomed me, accepted me and treated me has changed my life.”
For 30 years, Atif felt unable to live openly as himself, and even living in Scotland, some of those fears remained.
“I was too afraid to even have my picture on the Curveballs Instagram page in case someone from Pakistan saw it,” he said.
“My boyfriend and the team helped me a lot and got me thinking, ‘Who cares if people see it? This is me and I need to accept it before others will’.”
The support he found through Curveballs has transformed his confidence and sense of belonging.
As he looks forward to competing in the annual Curveballs Open Squash Tournament – Atif has a clear message to anyone thinking about giving the sport a try.
“I would highly recommend it to anyone that wants to play squash – but also to anyone looking to find their family in the way that I have.”
